the monumental phase which will dictate my remaining time serving for my national service will be my Passing Out Parade(POP) . for those who is rattlebrained concerning this celebratory ceremony. it marks the end of your Basic Military Training(BMT). eligible for only those who is triumphant in this stage. bypass the IPPT, Live Firing and Individual Field Craft(IFC).

from then they will post you depending on your result. all based on your Officiating Commander(OC). currently im in the SUPPORT company. bt due to security clearance, they are prohibited from intaking to many malays. so most of us will be offload to other companies like Bravo, Alpha and Charlie. Bravo being the most superior in terms of training. in certain circumstances, you might get posted as Driver, Medic, Storeman or Technician. by any chance, you might even get posted out to different camp. and the last option is what i have been requested. to be posted overseas.

during the recent interview with my platoon commander, 2LTA Ariff, i conceded in allowing myself to be send packing for overseas training. and he wrote it down in my record book.
so theres a high possibility that i may be serving the remaining 2 years of my national service, not in singapore. probbable destination like taiwan, aussie or brunei. i will be away, from singapore. permanently and a returned home will be a blue moon visit.

it was a bold approach. i dig through myself and seek through. i desire it to come through. so much that im willing to sacfrice my home. i was bombarded with the "why" questions by peers and my commanders. thought it remained something personal.

im always an avid explorer. seeking new pastures and being in place that i have never leave a footprint before. asked jenny and she will list down all the destinations we have been on our excursion. cruisng through natural wonders and soft spots of singapore. so facing a foreign into the picture brings much hysteria in me as i will carry off my expedition where i stopped.

bt yea, negative emotion still lingers. for i have always yearned to remove oneself from here.
I do love being in singapore bt the enigmas facing me, had me wishing to depart and neglect eveything that happened here. yea, i running aways from all the dilemmas and dramas. well so be it. till this day, i felt that i was always left upappreciated and the centre on un-concern. to a huge sum, that im willing to aid someone in dire need, in terms of money, consoling and almost everything. im always giving my best shot in my attempt to save morale from sliding down and being joyous.

i still yet to receive my part of the xmas present that we assured to exchange during that time for the year. where i done my part, 2 years ago.
i still yet to be returned a sum of money that i transfered to someone, saving her being unable to return home. which saw me sneaking out of my workplace to do so. putting my occupation on the line, dismissing will be my end product if i got caught.
and similar occurrence of this is not once.
made a pact to be there for someone who is flying abroad, alone, waking up at wee hours. travelling half of singapore. yet her part of the deal was not done.

sacrificing for someone in terms of threats and humiliation. bt gets a smack in the face.

none of my efforts are returned even though that remained something charitable. bt appreciation is the least i need.

singapore doesnt bring good memories.

the grass is greener on the other side.

i think its better i leave.